Shaking him violently, Amanda willed him to awake. “Wake up! Get up…” Her attempts were useless. Moist droplets fell down her cheek, the stain of their wet path smudged across her face as she dried it with her hand.
“Please! Don’t leave…”
Amanda stood up, the noisy side effects of her weeping following her as she marched toward the barracks.
“We must fight today. Too many lives have been taken.” She knew that they had only been training for a few weeks. Petrified faces whispered amongst the soldiers.
“QUIET!”
The tears had come again. Everyone was staring at their warm trail. She would not allow him to die in vain. It was then that creatures pushed through the dusty earth…
the undergrowth. 
Wow that is great
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Thank you very much, I really love writing, my absolute favourite hobby!
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wow intense
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Thank you, love writing intense!
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I love your choice of vocabulary. It really left an image in my head. Well done! 🙂
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Thanks! I really appreciate it!
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Dear Olivia,
I really love your writing style. I love how you use great vocabulary to really make me see what’s happening but still leave room for the reader to use their imagination and how you leave me wanting more. I would love to see you add on to this story and find out what exactly happens next.
-Megan
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Hello Megan,
Thank you so much for your lovely positive feedback, I appreciate it! Maybe I will add on to it? Who knows…
by Olivia, proudly an animal lover!
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